You know you live in Phoenix:<\/b> <\/p>\n
You buy salsa by the quart. <\/p>\n
Your Christmas decorations include a half a yard of sand and 100 paper bags. <\/p>\n
You think that a red light is merely a suggestion. <\/p>\n
All of your out-of-state friends start to visit after October but clear out come the end of April. <\/p>\n
You think someone driving and wearing oven mitts is clever. <\/p>\n
Most of the restaurants in your town have the first name “El” or “Los”. <\/p>\n
You think sixty tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful yard. <\/p>\n
You’ve signed so many petitions to recall governors that you can’t remember the name of the incumbent. <\/p>\n
Your house is made of stucco and Styrofoam, and has a red clay tile roof. <\/p>\n
You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water. <\/p>\n
You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink. <\/p>\n
You can say 115 degrees without fainting. <\/p>\n
Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer. <\/p>\n
You have to go to a fake beach for some fake waves. <\/p>\n
People break out coats when temperature drops below 70. <\/p>\n
You discover, in July, that it only takes two fingers to drive your car. <\/p>\n
The pool water is warmer than you are. <\/p>\n
You can make sun tea instantly. <\/p>\n
People will drive over a hundred miles just to see snow. <\/p>\n
You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace. <\/p>\n
People with black cars or have black upholstery in their car are automatically assumed to be from out-of-state or nuts. <\/p>\n
You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance. <\/p>\n
You realize that Valley Fever isn’t a disco dance. <\/p>\n
The water from the cold water tap is the same temperature as the hot one. <\/p>\n
You can (correctly) pronounce the words: Saguaro, Tempe, Gila Bend, San Xavier, Canyon de Chelly, Mogollon Rim, Cholla, Calle, Valle and Ajo. You can say Hohokam and people don’t think you’re laughing funny. <\/p>\n
It’s noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is moving on the streets. <\/p>\n
Sun screen is sold year round, kept at the front of the checkout counter, a formula less than 30 spf is a joke, and you wear it just to go to Circle K. <\/p>\n
Hot air balloons can’t go up, because the air outside is hotter than the air inside. <\/p>\n
No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car<\/p>\n
?<\/p>\n