Thursday September 26, 2002 at 05:39 pm

Well it’s been a boring, yet busy week for the most part. Actually, for some reason I’ve just been drained, possibly due to still getting over whatever little bug I was infected with last week. So for the most part I’ve simply stuck to a low profile at work, as haven’t done anything extremely exciting at home either.

I amazingly, completed the training documents for my team, yesterday and today, even though for the last month I’ve been asking my manager for the software needed, to which of course went in one ear and out the other. So finally a little after midnight last night, I completed 3 flow charts and began the tedious task of taking screen shots for 2 more presentation and composing the training manual to go with them. To those would think “Well maybe he wanted to see if you could do it by finding other resources”, that would require and big fat negative as response, as that would require paying attention some sort of communication with his team. Can’t have that now can we.

Kid turned 6 yesterday, but since I have the schedule I have I wasn’t able to go by and wish her Happy Birthday, and I won’t be able to go to her birthday party on Friday either, so I suppose it’ll have to wait until Saturday.

The weekend was somewhat typical, except for the almost 2 day log discussion on the Gospels of St Thomas, thanks in part to the discussion with my roommate about his sis and her boyfriends, but mainly based upon the movie Stigmata. Anyway that kind of lead to a bunch of other things, but nonetheless, set the mood for the weekend.

Later on another friends of mine, asked me about a certain incident, and whether or not I regretted doing it. Honestly at the time I did it, I had very little regret, and for those that were involved at the time know exactly why. It however sparked a response that even now surprised me.

It had to do with regret, obviously but, the simple fact that I can look back on my life and say I have only one, minor regret, even though it is of major consequence, I consider it small, based on the fact that if I hadn’t done what I did I wouldn’t be where I’m at now. It more or less falls into the category of “If I had the chance to go back and change only one thing, this would be it”. I thought about it further and decided I would risk everything that I have now, or how everything that has happened since, for the opportunity to take that other path at that time, which is why it surprised me. I had been so used to living my life, saying that I regret nothing, and that I wouldn’t change anything if I could. I mainly said that based on the paradox’s that would incur, thus nullifying the need/want to make the change to begin with. However After the small discussion with my friends I realized there was a point in my life that I would go back and make a change to. Another reason I found it surprising was the fact of a little principle I kind of put together, which I’m sure someone else has said before me, to which I have no idea whom, but nonetheless I have decided to reiterate it in my own words.

“If all you do is dwell on the past, then you might as well be living in it, if your living in the past, then your not living at all, as living would constitute the here an now, and not that of the where and what was. Reflect on the past, to live for present while looking forward to the future”

Ironic, really, at one point in time, many could have said all I did was live in the past, now I only reflect and learn from it.

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