Friday January 25, 2002 at 04:24 pm

1/23/02

Okay so I’ve seriously lacked on my blogging, but with somewhat good reason. I’ve actually been being productive in a somewhat weird sort of way. I’ve actually setup both systems on the net, as well as setup VNC capabilities on both which was kind of bitch since I had no clue about port forwarding. I suppose that is what kicked off the productivity aspect of my last week or so. After I got that hooked up I decided to test to see if my camera would still work and sure enough it does. So I then decided to try and make an actual web cam site for it. I’ve had the camera for over 4 yrs now, and used to use it with net meeting, but never really setup a web cam site, like what you would see nowadays (damn I sound like an old geezer). Anyway I was able to find some shareware software that I was somewhat able to get to work and sure enough I succeeded in making “Solitary Confinement”. I’ve also been playing with IRC a lot more since I’m running low on movies to watch.

Okay so that wasn’t the whole aspect of my productivity. For I don’t know how long some people have been telling me I should actually start pursuing my musical career, or desires anyway. Well thanks to some coincidental happenstances I’ve started working on some remixes, which is what really leads to my productivity. I’ve finally setup my primary system to be used for music production (for the most part), and have been doing some minor beat creations. The main purpose was to make a beat and melody for “Fallen”. But that has once again been pushed back. Anyway I’ve decided to enter a DJ remix competition at United Remixers Guild. So that why I haven’t been posting much lately, though I don’t think many people read my blog to begin with since 1) I have maybe 7 comments since last year 2) Strangely enough the comment field has been removed when I sign in to check (maybe they figure since I don’t have enough I don’t need it which for the most part is true).

Okay so in other news, the person I thought I’d never hear from again, called out of the blue. She came over and we just talked for a bit as she was headed out of town. A week later we hung out and again and I told her I didn’t figure to ever see her again. She kind of found that a little disconcerting, but as part of the moral code of my previously stated new years resolution. Pure honesty is key to its implementation. Thus no more telling people what they want to hear, only my opinion or truth whichever the case may be.

1/25/02 2:00pm

Well it’s been 2 days since I started this blog , so expect it to be somewhat long. I just read a posting by DreaminOfYou, which seems to reflect the epiphany I have been having so to speak, but refusing to acknowledge. The fact is things will never go back to the way they were, not now and not ever. Like the inevitable sun rising and falling with each passing day things has they used to be are no more, with each day history is created and destroyed, leaving nothing more than the past day to reflect on. The question is how long should that reflection take. If you spend a whole day reflecting on the previous days you will have missed an entirely new day, thus in a weird sense you will have not lived that day as you spent the entire time reflecting on a past day and not seeking or relishing the new. So having this kind of tossed back at me from another perspective, made me realize I REALLY need to start taking my own advice.

Strangely enough I tried accessing my cam page at “Solitary Confinement”, and was unable to get an image. Upon further research of the situation it appears I must disable DHCP on the router and setup the systems to use a static internal IP. The only problem with this is I’m hardly ever home when my roommate is up or at home so we can actually test it, as the cable modem and router are both in his room, as this is where the line was activated. So probably on Sunday I will try and configure my 2 systems to use the static settings. Which will do 2 things, 1) since Tom frequently VPN’s into his work, He’ll be able to use the DMZ settings without disconnecting everyone, 2) Will allow the port forwarding to accurately relay the packets to the designated system, 3) Test thy Tech Kung Fu J.

4:00pm

So I’m sitting at work right now, and though I have work I could easily finish within a few minutes, I’ve decided to write this instead, actually not really. I actually would rather be looking for some drum loops to use for my remix, or VNC’ing into my home system to check IRC downloads, but I can do neither right now at least. Actually granted I just ranted about this earlier, I find myself looking back again, instead of forward, and I’m wondering why is it I am constantly or was constantly do this. Does it mean I have an absolute fear of the unknown and on a sub conscious level I am refusing to acknowledge what is to come but am rather content in what has happened? And if this is the case, how, when and why did I start doing this. I guess in a sense simply asking this question is a method of dwelling on the past. But At the same time in order to progressively move forward one must understand the past. I guess that is what I have been doing, just far too much.

5:15pm

You know, I wrote a blog about this before about women who want bad boys. I just had the privilege if you can call it that of speaking with one of our student who falls into that category. I had spent and hr on the phone with her and her Academic Counselor making sure her system met our requirements to us the online Learning system. Unfortunately it didn’t since it was a outdated, no longer support Gateway with a 200Mhx processor. So I told it didn’t but would walk her through setting her accounts up anyway since I have a 233mhz system that I use to access the school without any issues. Well turns out her system was getting an error that required updating some files, of which I had readily available and emailed to her. 1hr and 15 min into the call she stated she was running low on time and I advised her we were almost finished and reassured her that if anything else we will have exhausted all resorts short of her either buying a new system or spending much money and time and upgrading her existing system. Just has we finally got the file onto her system and were executing them her husband/boyfriend could be heard in the background bitching relentlessly about how much time she had spent on the phone. I could tell she felt bad about having me hear this as she stated as she was saying goodbye. All I could think of was how much I wanted to reach through the phone and pimp slap this apparently egotistical, no educated punk. And I can clearly say this based on every other word he used was “fuck”, obviously showing the extent of his quite limited vocabulary. Then as she was hanging up the phone I could hear what I presumed was her sob. Normally I tend to stay out of people business, but when it comes to how a man treats a woman, especially one that is taking steps to better themselves, with a college degree, it just makes me want to crack his head open. If not for her and my sake but to free up the limited supply of fresh air and non-idiotic filled noises of the rest of the world. It turns out the woman is actually in the same city I’m at, I told her earlier in the call that she could email me with any question about her system or if she needed help or advice on upgrading her system. I’m damn near praying she calls, just so I have the opportunity to meet this prick and put him in his shit hole of a place. I swear dicks like him piss me off more than anything else.

6:00 pm

In a side not I just realized I don’t have a day off until next weekend since my shift will be changing from Thursday through Monday to Monday through Friday. Granted I like the fact I’ll actually have a real workweek, I don’t like the fact that I’ll be working almost 2 wks straight with no day off and no overtime in the end. But hey, that’s how the cards were dealt and I made the decision to take so I must deal with the repercussion of that decision no matter how tired and burned out I’ll be. *L* The benefit of taking the early shift I will actually be able to hang out with my friends again other than on the few days when our schedules all match up, as well as I’ll be able to play racquetball almost every night, which I might add is something I’d actually prefer doing. But it also means I won’t be able to take off for the weekend which I’d really like to be able to do. I just don’t know quite yet. I have until Tuesday to let my manager know If I want it or not.

�7:25Pm

I’m am so bored, good think I can go to lunch in 5 min, so I think I’ll post this now