Friday November 23, 2001 at 05:43 pm

Well it’s definitely confirmed Holidays suck. Okay for me they do at least. This was my 1st Thanksgiving away from home and the fact that I wasn’t at home wasn’t the fact that it sucked it was the fact that I wasn’t at home and that I really didn’t have anyone special to share it with.

I spent this Thanksgiving at my friend Mike’s parent’s house. We grew up together in the same town and have always been friends and his parents have always liked me being his friend. My roommate Tom rolled out there as well. Now normally I can handle other people thanksgiving cuz normally my family has there’s way early in the day and then I’d make my rounds to all my friends houses. This year was way different, maybe it was because I wasn’t at home, but the entire time me and Tom where there it was almost as if we both wanted to leave. I know for me it was liked I’d rather have stayed at home alone to be surrounded by strangers that somehow remember me but I don’t remember them or just flat out strangers.

Anyway I’ll be headed home for Christmas, and unfortunately my recently laid off dad will be there as well. No it’s not unfortunate that he’ll be there, it’s unfortunate that he’ll be there an bitch at everyone for no reason just because he was laid off and probably still hasn’t figured out how to deal with these things on his or within himself, rather than take it out on those around him. I already know this is how it will be because he called me back this morning to bitch at me for absolutely no reason, just at any thing he could grasp at from whatever I was saying.

Overall I hope it doesn’t go that way, but strangely enough me and hope rarely see eye to eye, so I have a habit of thinking the worst will happen, which normally does.

I know that’s not a good way to look at things, but one thing you have to understand is that for damn near most of my life I always had hope that the best would come about, it never did. So I haven’t entirely given up on hope, I’ve just become realistic about it. Hope is non tangible, thus I can’t count on hope for much of anything anymore, other than to “Hope for the best, but for damn sure plan for the worst”.