Sunday June 2, 2002 at 04:23 pm
Here’s a lil email I received to day that I modified for lets just say my own entertainment at the time, below it is the additional email I sent out after rethinking my original response.
Since this email was sent to me, by someone out of this little list of people I’m sending it back to all of you. Don’t get mad, the original said to send it back, I’m just following instructions, with a small twist.
The Difference between a Friend and a Best Friend
Friend: calls ur parents by mr. and mrs.
BEST friend: calls them by their first name
Negative I still call Rhonda, Dennis, Jim, and Louis Mr. and Mrs. Deines, and Mr. and Mrs. Henry, itâs a respect thing. Besides when one of them is an ex body builder and still in shape and she could whoop you and your best friendâs ass then you prolly donât wanna piss her off by being disrespectful. Same goes for the husbands, military life as a funny way of doing things like that.
Friend: has never seen u cry
BEST friend: has always had the best shoulder to cry on
Been there, done that, got the t-shirt, the cd, and souvenir travel cup, no comment
Friend: never asks for n e thing to eat or drink
BEST friend: opens ur fridge and makes themselves at home.
Half negative, itâs the respect thing, especially if they still live with their parents. Only okay if their single and living on their own with no science experiment growing in the fridge next to left over pizza
Friend: asks u to write down ur number
BEST friend: they ask u for thier number (cuz they canât remember it)
Speaking of which can someone email me mine, Iâve seamed to have lost it again J
Friend: borrows ur stuff a few days then give it back
BEST friend: has a closet full of ur stuff from 2nd grade
Borrow, hell we gave it away, its called storage, so our parents wouldnât find it. Besides, if they have your stuff and you have theirs its all gravy
Friend: only knows a few things about u
BEST friend: could write a biography on ur whole life story
Write a book if you will, but I want the movie rights!
Friend: will leave u behind if thats what the crowd is doing and u have to b home
BEST friend: will ditch the crowd to go to ur house so u could go home
We were the crowd, and we went to your house anyway, cuz your parents were never home, and you had the keg. Also best friends donât shelve their friends when something better comes along.
Friend: would delete this letter
BEST friend: will send this back to me and all their other best friends online
So much I could say on this one, so here are some scenarios
Friend: would know whether or not to send this to begin with and even if they did they would have reformatted the text so it wasnât all jacked up at the bottom
Best friend: would beat ya ass for spamming it to more than one person, spamming it without using BCC (BCC=Blind Carbon Copy) so all the other emails address were removed in case on of them has a virus it doesnât get sent back tom everyone else and their grandmother and expecting it to be returned. And even if they did they would have reformatted the text so it wasnât all jacked up at the bottom.
Friend: Would say âif you send me one more freaking tree-hugging; send this to at least 20 people and get rich; send me a dollar and Iâll send you Neiman Marcusâs famous chocolate cookie; delete this file that has been on you computer since itâs incorporated in the OS, but is a really a virus; if you like me email me back email. Iâm gunna release that tape of you, that you donât want anyone to see onto the Internet IRC, Gnutella, and Fastrtack networks for all the world to seeâ
Best Friend: Wouldnât have received an email to confirm their friendship they wouldâve called or stopped by.
Ok hereâs ur chance to make a free wish!!!!
Scroll down and make a REALISTIC wish
Then when u see the word STOP!!!!! (Since the directions here werenât specific Iâll fill in the blank for those who are a little less inept at the end of the scroll area)
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STOP!!!!!
stop wishing and âŚ..
Delete this email and pick up the phone or email your friends directly and say wassup. Because in the end this email will not make your dreams comes true. It will not make you rich, and will not and I repeat, will not entice people to email it back to you or forward to other people, based on being put into a guilt trip. It will however either piss people off, that you lost track of and havenât called, yet have the nerve to include them in this chain letter because thatâs what it is. Or it will make people laugh and take notice of such emails and prompt them to delete them in future only after forwarding them to others out of sheer humor based upon the changes made to it by moi.
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If you send this to
5 PeOpLe………Delete those 5 people from your contact list cuz theyâll never wanna get another email from you again
6-10 PeOpLe ………. Delete the 1st 5 people from your contact list cuz theyâll never wanna get another email from you again, Delete the 2nd 5 people from your cell phone list cuz theyâll never wanna get another call from you again
10-15 PeOpLe………. Delete the 1st 5 people from your contact list cuz theyâll never wanna get another email from you again, Delete the 2nd 5 people from your cell phone list cuz theyâll never wanna get another call from you again. Delete the 3nd 5 people from your cell, email, and little black book phone list cuz theyâll never wanna have any communication with you again
16 PeOpLe oR mOrE………..RUN and RUN FAST!!! They have noticed that all the people that this was sent to know each other, and have taken a unanimous poll, to lynch yo ass, at the next class reunion, office meeting, or social drinking gathering due to excessive email spamming from within their âownâ, with little or no effort to make true social contact with any of them even if you see them on a daily basis, in which case they shouldnât have received this email to begin with.
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NoW gEt CaLlInG!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay I thought abut it a little more, and decided since the last email as not part of the solution, or at least didnât offer a solution Iâd retort on the original email.
In todayâs internet day in age, a lot of people have gotten into the habit of losing sight of privacy, yet at the same time they advocate against big brother, either verbally at the work place or on message boards, etc etc. hereâs my thing about this, most people who do this are hypocritical, in other words they say one things yet continue to do another, a good example is the email that was sent to me, in which I replied back to everyone. The difference in my reply and the original is obvious in many ways. For one I removed all the exposed emails that were left inline with the text, and I moved the recipients into the BCC field versus the CC field. No really this is a minor issue. The bigger issue is the whole reason I received the email, someone thought it was cute and sent it to me.
The problem with this is they included me with god knows how many others. Iâm not angry I received this email, but Iâm angry in regards to the principle it was sent in and the manner it was sent in, in which so many people send out things. Most Netizins call it forwarding, most techies call it spamming. For those that know me Iâm a technician, I do this kind of thing for a living. My deal is that every day I get so many emails from people who are on the net and have become not only a danger to themselves but to the rest of the internet, based on these things. No one likes junk mail in r/t (r/t=real time), and almost everyone I know doesnât like it in v/t (v/t=virtual time), so why is it that people are bombarded with such things as spam, chain letters, and hoaxes, yes thatâs right hoaxes and even viruses. Even if you donât add the people in the email to your address book, at some point the email will hit an infected system, and guess what it will be eventually sent right back to you with and added gift. Most of today viruses, not only read the Outlook/Outlook express address books, but also any emails included in the text of the emails saved. No donât freak out and begin jumping to conclusion, any decent virus scanner will pick up such things and simply remove or at quarantine the virus, and if not will point you in the direction to have it removed. On this point as well, donât take getting a virus personal, viruses are just that, viruses. Just like r/t viruses spread unconditionally in v/t. the best analogy Iâve found to explain is the 6 degrees of separation or the pyramid scenario, which is why chain letters and spam assist in such matters.
Hereâs the scenario for whatever reason you catch a cold. You then go to work, which has 10 people you interact with. Now after 3 days 5 people have the cold, in which you didnât intentionally give them, but they got the cold from you. Now of those 5 people they go home and their spouses sick, weâre at a total of 11 including you. Now those other 5 people each get another 5 people out of 10 sick, never mind the fact that you are still infecting additional people as well as the 1st 5 people you got sick. You can see how the picture grows to immense proportions. The same thing happens with email virus. You get infected and pass the infection on to the 10 people in your contact list of which 5 block the virus and the other 5 get the virus, and once again it multiplies. If one had the time and resources they could track every infect email they received back to someone they know, whom or associated with at some point and time. Thus the 6 degrees of separation you know someone, who knows someone else, who knows someone, else who got infected and passed it along unknowingly. Another good example is what your reading most of you have no clues as to who I am but you know someone who does, or they know someone who does. The best thing to do in these situations is not to get pissed and flame (verbally abuse the sender via email and message board posting), but to simply reply back to the person and let them know they are infected with a virus, and to disinfect their system. An even better step would be to tell them how you blocked the virus they originally sent them. It doesnât have to be anything big or technical, like what I send, which is normally a direct link to a respected anti virus company removal tool. Instead just let them know what virus program youâre using to block/catch it.
See when you start sending things of zero relevance to more than 3 people it becomes spam, and in doing so you are doing nothing more than helping the people who right virus to clog emails servers to achieve that goal, same e thing for when people send out emails giving false info on things such as virus, or gas buy outs, or hidden undisclosed sales at whatever major Department store may be around. It does nothing but generate un need email traffic which bugs down servers. These servers are what you all depend on to do you daily commuting to and from work, to stay in contact with the kids at college or even to set up that crazy bachelor party. Either way, when you aid in slowing down the process of useful mail, it leave the companies no choice but to either shut down or add more servers to accommodate. Obviously shutting down is the extreme end of the spectrum. Commonly the companies dig into the pockets and add more servers, this however cost money, and weâre not talking the chump change used to build you $400 quake server or to buy your dilapidated Compaq, HP, or Dell system. No weâre talking the amount of a small compact car. Obviously if these companies must recoup these costs somewhere, and it has only one place to get it from, you and I, in the form of higher price rates for internet access. And no federally funding is not used to insure AO heLLâs mail server keeps functioning, the internet started out as military/collegiate project and has been taken over largely by the private sector, thus you canât bitch about saying your taxes go to it, because it doesnât.
Now as for the chain letters issue, well, my personal opinion on it is, why do you need to email out 20 people to make sure their still your friends? I mean seriously, since when did trying to make someone have a guilt trip get them to call you? Okay donât answer that because someone may have and if so I donât want to know about it. And as for wishes coming true if I send it out to 15 or more people, if you believe that you should probably turn off your computer and go spend some time out in the real world. Seriously, this type of thing was never done before email became a major form of communication Itâs said that email, now outnumbers the amount of mail being sent by snail mail (Snail mail= us postal service/normal mail). And yes I know chain letters have been around long before the net was here, but no to this extent. Society has become to digital and made the use of email such a lifeless and numbing experience, by flooding it with such toxins as chain letters and spam. Most spend more time deleting these emails than reading actual productive or useful emails, which to put bluntly is pathetic.
If you want to make sure someone is still your friends, want to let someone know your thinking of them, get off you lazy emails ending derrieres and call them, send them a personalized e-card (Blue Mountain E-Cards) and just to them. Or even better yet, if itâs possible, go one step further and get in the old car and pay them an actual face to face, personal visit, if your excuse is I donât know how to get there, email me Iâll send you directions from Map Quest.
So in conclusion, here a few steps to take before sending out those useless spam letters so many have become a custom to.
If youâre going to send something out to more than 3 people, use the BCC function of your email program, all email clients/services have them. Your friendâs wouldnât want you to give their phone numbers to total strangers that you may know but they donât, so why would you put their email address out their for the world to see.
Research any thing you think may be useful, i.e. possible viruses before sending them out. Over 200.000 people received a email to telling them to delete files that are built into windows, claiming it was a virus. I know this because about 2,000 called where I work to get it fixed.
If you get enough of chain letters in your email, to warrant setting up a bogus email address to give out to others, then start sending them this email for every single email that you asks for a response back to the sender. All you have to do is press the CTRL key and the A key at the same time on your keyboard and it will highlight all of this text. Then press the CTRL key and the C key on your keyboard to copy it. Open the reply to them and press the CTRL key and V key on your keyboard to paste this email into your reply.
And finally if your friends are that important to you, why are you still sitting here reading this email?
Have fun and keep it real! Donât Spam
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