Thursday May 17, 2001 at 03:56 pm

Okay, I know, I started this page or web journal or whatever it is almost a month ago and only made one little post on it even though I said I was going to post at least once a day. Well u know how u get going on something that u think would be really great or interesting to like taking the lawnmower part and trying to make a jet pack out of it when ur 12. Okay so maybe I was the only one that did that. Anyway so ur going along and u notice that ur friend just got a brand new bike and he wants help with taking off those stupid pedal backward brake mechanisms. So anyway now there are 2 things u find interesting. Now granted having ur very own jetpack to a 12 yr old is pretty much tops anything, but even at 12 we realize that there’s a lot of work to go into it. Where as the whole brake job is less than 15 minutes and can lead to hrs of wheelie popping adventures. So of course we neglect that jetpack for another day.

Well that was pretty much what happened to me a month ago I really wanted to start something like this actually for quite some time, but realized the amount of effort and time that goes into it was not exactly peaking my immediate “Give a shit Meter”, yes it’s the same one I had when I was 12 just modified to account for age and responsibility. Also the fact that I was in the midst of trying to start a relationship with someone who has had more of an effect on me in the last months than anyone I’ve known my entire life and moving offices was no real help either. But hey as the saying goes for some things better late than never!�

So I’ll give ya a lil back history on my week so far and we can I suppose go from there. Lets see Monday was boring, Tuesday was boring and hot. The Air conditioning went out in our new office building so of course Pam was complaining the entire day even after it was fixed and somewhat back to normal. Pam likes to complain about just about anything she feels is an injustice or unfairness towards her or in some weird six degrees of separation can be considered a injustice or unfairness towards her. So of course it was time to tune her out AGAIN, I swear if she doesn’t quit within 2wks I’m gunna ask to have her seat moved. So it had been a few days since I talked to Heather and I wanted to see her. Who’s heather you may ask, will she’s the girl I’m trying to get to know me. You see heather is a very unique girl who has a very strange effect on me. And not really in a bad way but it’s one that I haven’t felt in a really long time. You know those movers and shaker of people. Well right now I’m kinda on parole with her, see I went 2 fast even for as slow as we were going and kinda jacked the whole process up. And Why you may ask is cuz I went 2 far with my own emotions, which I knew I shouldn’t have, but hey I’m not a Lancelot for nothing. Question is how to be won when ur the dragon that needs to be slain???�

Back to what I was saying we went out and saw Chocolat, she forgot I had already seen it, but it was a that kinda movie that makes wanna see it at least one more time. Well we had fun we saw it at an old movie theater she used to go to. It was my 1^st time there, and let me tell you. If u’ve ever wanted to make out in theater this would be the one to do it. We had the entire and I mean entire theater to ourselves. But I learned my lesson the 1^st time with her and let her set the pace, hey I just like being around her every thing else is a benefit of that.�

So after the movie I dropped her off and of course she crashed out as soon as her head hit the sheets. I get home on the other hand and call her to let her know a cow didn’t decide to intervene on my high projectile vehicle trajectory to so said home. In plain English to let her know I didn’t turn an open range cow into hers or yours next Big Mac. I walk into to what I call a very strange and unusual environment, as my house was damn near lightless and there was no usual commotion amok at what was only a quarter past 1am. As I make my way around I hear snoring, now if they weren’t home that would be one thing but for them to be home and asleep already hell I felt like I had just walked into the twilight zone. So as I make my way to my room I awaken Sean the pup of the house at 20, from his slumber on the couch and wonder why the hell is he crashed on the couch when he has his own room? Now before he could answer I could make the following assumptions

1)����� Lauren’s over and they had a talk and are fighting and he’s given her the couch

2)����� Lauren’s over and is overly horning and Sean needs sleep

3)����� Lauren’s over and who the hell knows why Sean’s on the couch

Now I was tired and was in no mood to analyze this any further so I went with the general assumption Lauren was crashed in Sean’s bed and I didn’t care why Sean wasn’t in there with her, I was sure he’d fill me in anyway. Of Course he does just that, after explaining that “they all died”. Who’s they you may ask, they are Brian, my other roomie and a few month younger than I, derrick Sean’s Best friends who just turned 21 a few months back, Jeff the tech guru with no neck, and Lauren, the Catholic School teacher that Sean has been dating even though he says it’s only sex. So Sean proceeds to tell me the tale of the lil miscreants adventure, which …well to sum it up they did all die that night. death by liquid reality.�

They all got so plastered and 3 sheet to the wind they all went to their prospective rooms and died, but not before performing from what Sean says was a well practiced orchestra of vomit between the 4 of them. Trust me this brought back memories of my recent mishap 3 days prior to that night, but that’s another story. So as of then Brian was currently mentally waging the war of his life and losing miserably. Just think the cold cool surface of porcelain with the added benefit of clean up or the cuddly warm comfort of bed. At this time I peeked in brain had already lost the battle and had succumb to the beckoning call of the tidy bowl surface and the any other time ice cold feel of weathered tile.�

�I then of course made my way to check on D who was supposedly passed out on my futon mattress, which I currently wasn’t using for much. As I entered 5 years of bar hoping every weekend in various parts of Mexico flew through my head giving my a buzz just from it’s presence and the stench of what must have been at least 3-5 mixed drinks, 6-7 shots of various alcoholic rationale killers, and of course thinking of the company he was in and the apparent place of consumption at least 3 pints of liquid ass (Guinness). All I could do was step out grab a FRESH lung full of air and try and make out if there was any vomit on my property, which thank god for him there wasn’t.��

That brought me to the next room to my left that housed Lauren whom I could see from the entry of D’s current housing. She actually looked mildly cute, almost innocent, but as cruel as the world is as I got closer it was shattered by the signs of apparent drool from her current sleep and what appeared to be a mixed content of something else. Lets just say I didn’t stick around to observer much of it.��

That left Jeff, who apparently due to Sean’s parent impersonation had him call as soon as he got home. Simply to inform him that at very momet whilst confirming his current location of being at home was partaking of the human body form of sping cleaning but from the entry way and not the exit. I can only imagine what type of noise that left in Sean’s ear via the digital cells we all have and the massive echo of Jeff’s bathroom.�

So on that note with one last smoke for the night I discussed options of how to resolve his issuers with Lauren so that he doesn’t look like the absolute dick he swore he’d never turn into, of course of which Sean’s would allow to go in one ear and out the other and I crashed out for the evening. Some fools always trying to ice skate uphill….