Tuesday June 5, 2001 at 12:06 pm

Heres a post i was going to put up on�Monday Morning 6/4/01 but fogot to…….

Yeah I know I’ve been slacking, but a lot has happened lately, and probably the only good part was kickin it with heather almost all weekend, no matter what we did I had fun even if it was just sitting there in silence. We did talk for a bit about some stuff, but for the most part nothing was really serious. She asked me if I thought it was possible for 2 people to love each other equally the same or if there will always be 1 person loving or in love more than the other. I thought that it IS possible, but that most relationships are not that way. Usually one person shows it more and feels it more than the other. She believes that it’s not possible, I don’t know if that meant if it was not possible at all or simply not feasible in today’s society. Personally, I think this happens mainly due to people not realizing that after a certain point a couple is no longer falling in love but are simply in love, and due to that lack of puppy love feeling or the reduction in anxiety that we all feel when we 1^st get together or start dating someone. And just like that night I said it to her; wording of it is still a bit difficult. Anyway it was kind of weird and ended just as quickly as it began. So till kill the silence I asked her what was the most painful thing she’d eve experienced, and she said it was being either the person to that didn’t love the most and causing the pain to someone else or being the person that loves the most and having someone else tell you that don’t love you as much. For some reason I said something to the fact that I hadn’t experienced that before and just as the last syllables were leaving my mouth I had been in that situation before and had actually been in both ends of the table. Needless to say the mood was becoming quite somber so we both w/o words decided to change the subject.

�So after getting back into town her parent called and pissed her off for not calling sooner. So she decided to stay a bit longer we ended up going to some illegal street races even after all my roommates decided to try and give me much shit about thinking I was going to accomplish anything in my 99 Neon. Now this little rant is going to probably seem quite egotistical but it also the truth. Yes I have a 1999 Dodge Neon which came stock with 132 HP, and many cars could, and let me reiterate could smoke my car any day of the week. But here’s the thing on that. A) I don’t claim that I can go out and beat the tires off a anything outside of my class of car, meaning 4 cylinder compact vehicles, granted I have beat some older Mustangs and Cameros. B) I wasn’t going to race, I was going to watch and race only if I thought I could do some what, no not win, but some what well against my opponent C) I’ve only lost street races to people way outside my class, to a brand new Mustang and older supped up muscle cars. E) The people out at these races are the people I never get to race with on the street so in order to improve myself I need to race against those that will challenge me and drive cars that are faster than mine, racing not just about speed, like sword fighting it about manipulation of the mind, are willing to do something the other person is not, are you willing, not ride the edge longer than the others can. F) Sitting at home talking shit about this and that and playing video games is not a very good form of entertainment for guests especially if it’s done every night of the week. And each time you get drunk off the 4 hard drinks and then say the next weekend it was more or less a 20 shots and 25 drinks and that you ran a $250 tab in front of those that witness the pathetic show is not a very bright idea. Continual denial of it even after it is caught on tape doesn’t help either. E)

If you drive a Kia Sportage and have burned out 2 clutches already and working on your 3^rd trying to drive like me and keep up with me than you have no room to even begin or even fathom talking shit about me and my driving skills in general and racing skills. Especially as if it weren’t for me teaching you how to drive a 5 speed to begin with you’d be likely riding the bus or trading it back in for an automatic. F) For someone who takes personal pleasure by trying to push people to find out just what they’ll do, you would think that by watching me get my ass spanked racing would be a goal of yours, oh but wait it still won’t help you beat me when we race. Damn, I’m sorry, didn’t mean to just disappoint you like that, by actually backing up my own word, and not talking shit I can’t back up to begin with. Bottom line was I went for fun, to get the hell out the race, and to see what my future competition is like, and to race if I felt like but nowhere near the main point of going.�

Anyway I didn’t believe my friend when he said there were 400 people at the race, but still didn’t until the 1^st cop showed up and everyone scattered, I had jumped over a bush and had turned to grab Heathers hand so she wouldn’t fall or anything, being the gentleman that I was, and as a glanced and took a look at the scene all I could see was a massive horde of at least 450 people running. Let me till you I haven’t had a rush like that since the last time I ditched a cop in my old town. Later me and Heather agreed that that was the most fun part of the evening other than getting sticker in our jeans from the damn bushes. Everyone met up at one of there many other racing spots and it was on again, but just as soon as things starting getting good “the man” had to show up again, so we just bounced out for the evening.�

After that the evening just kinda went downhill, Heather had her parent on her mind and crashed on the couch, I stayed up and watched the sunrise and finally crashed at about 7:30 the next morning. It’s been downhill since then. I guess she’s really mad at her dad for not talking to her for over a week now, and she still doesn’t know why. I can’t say I blame her. Only thing is I don’t know what I can say or do for her to try and make things even a lil better. Who knows, I guess it’s a waiting game now.