Monday December 17, 2001 at 11:38 pm

A fellow blogger told me they’d rather be in my shoes than their own, and I thought to myself why. Why would you want to live your life without closure, without ever knowing in the end why? It’s not something that you can say “Oh well, life goes on”, okay maybe some can but I can’t. I was never a “why” kid, you know the kids that always ask why to anything you tell them. But I am a selective why person, and I can thank this to a great teacher who passed before his time who taught his students to ”always question authority”, and not to just do things because someone older than use or someone in a higher position than us tells us to do it.

Anyway, back to the whole point I was saying, In his life he has closure, he knows why his situation didn’t work out or at least a good idea. I on the other hand have not just recent friendships but past relationships that have ended without even a trace as to why, and in the case of my previous post regarding Christmas, it’s a question that no one except for God can answer. Granted it’s a very unique case, the others still pose the question. So I’m sitting here thinking about anyone I’ve ever stopped talking to, stopped hanging out with, or just stopped being friends with in general and for the most part, if not mutual, I give some sort of closure on it. At least I try to, whether it be they’re become self righteous backstabbing people or just plain asses. I at least tell them that’s the reason why I stopped talking to them or whatever the case may be. See here’s the catch it has never happened in the opposite way, for me at least. It’s just one day they’re gone and you never know why.

See this type of incident is what makes a person change, if enough people stop talking to you because they say your a (just for example) a freeloading mooch, then after some time this will hopefully sink in and you’re likely to change your ways and obviously for the better in this case. So what do you do when there’s no reason given at all. I’ll tell you what after some time you close yourself off to the people, because you’re afraid if you get close to them, one day they’ll be gone just as the others, without any rhyme or reason, and it’s not the act of being alone that is the hardest part, because after while it sinks in as reality and one accepts it. It’s the act of being left in which you don’t want to feel, because every time it happens, all it does if reaffirm the loneliness that has taken so long to accept, like a iron spike be driven through your soul. So trust me when I say you don’t want to be in my shoes, because if this has never happened to you or has only happened to you a few times, before you say you want to switch places and think about these words and then think about how it would feel to have that happen your whole life.