Saturday February 1, 2003 at 07:07 pm

Back from the dead, prolly not the best title for this, in more ways than I can really think of, but nonetheless, the only appropriate one I could think of at the time.

So you’d think I’d have plenty of time to post since I was out of work, by on the contrary, I was quite busy. So picking up from where I left off before. Sunday and Monday, I was busy updating my resume for the most part, until I decided to go get a haircut, seeing as I had no idea when I’d be able to afford another one, be fresh on the unemployed side of the spectrum of things.

My barber is one of the only 2 I’ve had since I moved to Arizona over 15 yrs ago, and was trained for the most part by my original barber, before he moved to the East Coast.

Anyway I told them all about being dismissed and how it ironically coincided with my braids, which even more ironically coincides with the fact that when I got them done, I had a feeling I would be without a job within a week. So I let them know, and before long was getting my fade redone. Gemini then asked if I had anytime to work on site for him and his crew, of course I had time I didn’t have a job.

Then I went home and emailed Ray, my contact at the temp agency to make sure he received my updated resume, to which he confirmed and told me he was in the process of emailing the company as we spoke, and that he’d give me call back as soon as he heard anything. I then called and told Sean the news about the site design when I was interrupted by my caller id, it was Ray.

Apparently within 5 minutes of reading my resume the company anted an interview and was calling via Ray to find out if I was available for the next day. Now granted I was happy and surprised at the response, but a little disappointed at the fact that no one seemed to remember the fact that I had no job, and nothing but time on my hands, thus why would they keep asking if I had time to do anything, especially Ray for that matter.

So all in all I was jobless for 72hrs. I went to the interview, which I didn’t think went all that well but apparently did, and decided to drop the roomies work, to “holla”. I also decided to apply with their company as well, in case the Go Daddy, the 1st company failed to go through. So I sat and filled out their online resume after watching a few others complete theirs, who had started before me. One thing that stood out was the response from the receptionist that she gave everyone.

“We’ll pull your application off the system, and be in contact with by email or phone to let you know”

Figuring I would get the same blow off routine as everyone else, I didn’t even bother to let her know I was finished, and simply asked if there was anything else I needed to fill out, in case I missed anything. She then paused for a moment and told me to stay there, as she went and did something. She returned a few minutes later and sat down in front of me and started typing away, continued to do so for about 3-4 minutes. The without even really looking at me she print s up my application, scans it for a few minutes, asks me a few questions, mind you still not really looking at me, then tells me to come back the next day for a face to face interview.

A little surprised at the way she went about things, but even more so over the fact that she told everyone else they would email or call them, and she tells me to come back the next day. So I took it all with stride and continued on my way to the other building to pester the roomies for a few minutes and then headed back to the apartment. On the way Ray calls me and tells me Go Daddy was making an offer for me, and of course I accepted it, and promptly went into details on what I needed to do and when I’d get my last check from UOP, he gave me everything I needed and I went home work on the site.

Wednesday I had to drive down to the west side of Phoenix which is am drive and half from the east side, where we live and made arrangement to pick up “B” on the way back to my hood. I had to drive to that side because Natural Data’s office is way the hell out there and I had to fill out a few papers and take a drug test. On the way back I scooped B and chatted with a few of the remaining homies at UOP, I was a little pissed that some of my old team had fucked with “B”, and of course he tad bit traumatized over it but well off nonetheless.

Now we’re up to Wednesday of that week, and pretty much spent the entire time working on the site. I’m currently drawn between the following

1)Do the entire site in Flash, as one huge as movie

2)Do the entire site in flash with multiple movies

3)Do the site in all HTML

4)Do the site with a mix of HTML and Flash

And as far as Flash is concerned, I mean by using Swish, and not anything like FlashMX or Director. So far I think I’m going to go with option 2, since getting everything to move the way I want it is going to be a bitch in Swish and I don’t want to go through the hassle of Installing FlashMX and learning how to use it in great detail, while learning my new job.

The weekend was the usual, with the exception of a new digital camera, and the fact that some of the girls almost got into a fight while we were kicking it at Denny’s at the end of the night. And of course the big debate on whether I had a technical job, or a sales job. The reason for this was because the job profiles, lists the position at $12.00 hr, plus commission. However, when Ray told me about the job, he explained it was a technical job, with a sales aspect. My assumption was that it was mainly going to be tech support, with the option of upgrading with no real, quota or demand, kinda like Cox.

Now that I’m 3 days into training, it’s been made abundantly clear that the position is really 30% tech support and %70 sales, which honestly scares the shit out of me, because I was never thought I was good at sales. However everyone I know thinks I should do it, and that I’ll be good at it, whether that’s a canned “friends” answer or the honest opinion is up for grabs.

The benefits so far are definitely the pay, as well as some free software, and a free hosting account for as long as I work there. The dress code is great, simply because there really isn’t one, except for no hats, and no “ho-wear”, so I get to sport the jeans and LUGZ, daily. The only real drawback, are my own doubts on my sales ability, and the fact that I’m now working 7-3:30, which is a complete 180 from what I’ve been working the last 6yrs, I’m on an awkward Sunday through Thursday shift, and the fact even though I’m off on Saturday, I can’t really go out, simply based on the fact that we never get home before 2am, and I have to be at work at 7am.

Now granted by their numbers and records, which we got to see today, shows good signs that the daily quota of $300, per day is easily met, it’s still possible not to hit them, and if you fail after 2 wks you’re put on probation, in which you only have to meet ½ of the quota for 2 more wks, if you fail either the 1st or the 2nd, as the sales manager put it “You know where you parked you’re car”. However if you make that ½ mark for 2 wks and then drop off again, within a certain time period there’s no probation, there’s just the door.

My plan so far, “not to even think/worry about it”, and just see what happens the 2nd week, as any sales we do during our 2nd wk of floor training, we’re currently in classroom training now, won’t count, and should be a good gauge of how I’m doing. Even so the entire process takes 6 wks even if you fail everything, in which you’re still paid your hourly rate, and when released you’ll still get a small compensation bonus.

Back form my little 4 day break from typing this big ass post up but hey like anyone really noticed.

It’s Friday now, and I’m done with training, by trainer Nate, pulled me aside this morning from everyone else, since the recent ax’ing at UOP I was a tad bit shell shocked still, assuming something bad was getting ready to transpire, but to my surprise it was just the opposite. While everyone else was doing reviews of how to use the interface of the site my trainer advised me that he thought I knew more than enough to hit the floor and start taking calls.

Now granted taking calls isn’t really a big thing, but oddly enough the 1st day or 2 at a new place still causes those 1st day jitters You’d get back in elementary school. So without for ado, he told me to grab my stuff and lead me to the lion pit. I sat with one guy for a few minutes and didn’t sell shit, hell I didn’t even pitch shit, and I realized they never really went over how to actually pitch people the products/services we offer. Granted 30% of the people calling are calling top buy shit, the other 70% aren’t, so I was a little water logged when I couldn’t even begin to close calls, because by the time I got into saying my stock, “ Is there anything else I can help you with”, I was realizing I wasn’t selling anything and I was simply doing tech work, and easy tech work at that.

So I told the guy I who was listening to my calls, to hop back on and give me some examples of sales pitches they commonly used. All the other calls I had heard in the week no one was selling anything so I needed some examples, being this was my 1st sales job. It didn’t take long and within a call or 2 he had a sale, it wasn’t anything big, since they were calling to buy service anyway, so I was still a bit lost.

We took both took a lunch break and I headed out back to smoke, and of course people were coming out and talking about their calls, and within prolly 10 minutes I had a good grasp on how to pitch at least a few items, and it’s something I’ve always known, “people are sheep, and those that don’t know shit about the net are so paranoid, they will blow any little thing negative about it into a global catastrophe”, therefore, I simply played into it, as well as I should I know 1st hand what little kiddie script phreak can do alone, not to mention someone, who has some good kung fu, and ill intentions.

I hoped back on the phone, still a little nervous, so I let him take another 2 calls, and still couldn’t shake the jitter feeling, until I remembered a line that kept being repeated in the book I had read “Who Moved My Cheese”, “ if you had no fear what would you do?”. Going on the presumption I had absolutely nothing to loose, I simply blocked it all out and took over answer the calls, and running the system, hell if I’m gunna do this, I might as well, jump in head 1st and deal with anything unknown under the water, if and when I need to.

The 1st call went the same as the others, only because it was a reseller and there really isn’t anything we can sell them, or that we’re allowed to pitch to them by legal contract. I took 5 more calls before it was time to go home, for the day, out of those 5 I sold to 3, of which one was on the verge of purchasing 5yrs of hosting, until the sales manager came over and told me to try and sell them something else as well, which led the guy to having to talk with his wife about it, which in turn after 30 minutes turned into me selling only 1 yr of hosting and 2 software programs we offer. No instead the wife decided to go with a yr and instead of 5, which would have met my daily quota for 2 days, and would have been the largest sell of the day, not to mention the fact that If I had completed the deal with the husband before mentioning the software, I could have closed the hosting deal, and then talked to his wife and closed the 2 software packages as well. Of course this didn’t happen because I had Sales manger, hovering over me, whispering to sell the software, while reaching over and grabbing the mouse to bring up the software page.

Now I know this is my 1st day selling shit, but damn I know when I have someone closed, his little stunt just phucked it all up. But oh well, I don’t get commission on the sales I do the next week and a half anyway as I’m in training. Besides i was happy at the fact that in 6 calls I had still already made $220 of my require $300 per day quota, which tells me that I don’t think I’ll have a problem doing this job well enough to stay hired on, if not well enough to start making some well needed extra $$$$ on top of my regular check.

The only thing that really sucks about the job and it’s prolly the sleep depravation speaking here, but the fact that I have to be up at 5:30 am and out the door by 6am, when I just came off of 5 yrs of night shifts, really sucks. I figure change is good, and if I really can’t handle the hours there doesn’t seem to be a problem with me changing shifts, so I’ll try and stick it out as much as I can for now.

Oh yeah I almost forgot, the reason I said “Back From the Dead” is prolly not the best title is because I found out over this week who the guy was that died the week before I was released from UOP, and though putting his name here really wouldn’t be of any issue, and you see why in a moment when I explain.

Brandon was a pretty kewl guy I didn’t talk or hang out with him that much, but on the occasion that we ran into each other during a break or lunch it was usually hilarious, talking shit about our day and the idiots calling in. Well Brandon has a problem that required some form of medication, well the Sat before I was released Brandon was released, in the exact same manner, however Brandon was a depressive, in a sort of way, and he didn’t take it so well. He didn’t take it so well that he decided to do the only thing he could do, have some fun and return to his alter persona of Ripper, on IRC that day, and maybe hope things got better…or maybe not.

In the course of an hour maybe more maybe less, Ripper consumed the following:

Ø80mg Methadone

Ø 8mg Klonopin

Ø120mg Restoril

Ø1.5gm KB (Form of weed)

Ø4 gm Mersh (East cost term for weed)

Ø 160mg Inderal

Ø2gm Mescaline


**All the while washing it all down with a bottle of 151**

Now some people think oh what a loser, or whatever, but think back to Columbine, and what was found on the net later. Brandon took one step further, granted he was alone in the confines of his room, he was at the same time surrounded by many of his good friends, online friends, some local, some as distant as Switzerland. You see Brandon did all this while chatting on IRC, and to give that extra kick, he was running his web cam server and had setup a bot to display the address to anyone that typed any of many words he had pre-selected, as well as giving it out freely himself.

There used to be, no there still is a some what un written acknowledgement in the net world that most people that threaten suicide in chat rooms, are simply doing it for attention, which is obvious, why else would you tell someone what you’re going to do, versus just doing it and leaving a note. If you tell someone, it’s a sign of reaching pout for an excuse for yourself not to, i.e. garnishing something that will gain everyone’s attention that you approach.

The fact is that the sheep of society have now learned/infected most of the net, and thus seem to have turned this form of reaching out for attention into something so generic, that it’s commonly used by bored lusers (and yeah I spelled that correctly LUSERS), who simply can’t get anyone in a chat room, web/bullietin board to talk to them. Unfortunately this process has masked the true nature of this beast and clouded the waters so much there is no distinct way to tell unless you actually know the person in R/T (real-time) or have ways of your own of telling.

Some of Rippers friend saw it; yet, they were too far away or didn’t have what they needed to help him out. Brandon consumed all that was listed above and never awoke to see the next day, all while be taunted and warned in a IRC chartroom, and broadcast a live video feed of all of it over the internet.

The links embedded in his real name are to the online obituary published locally here at the Arizona Republic, the other under the pseudo Ripper is to a dedication site his brother created in memory of him, that include the IRC chat logs during the event and his friends reaction afterwards. I suggest reading them, the next something like this comes your way, you may think twice about turning a blind virtual eye, or better yet, if you reading this and like to use the little “I’m going to end it All” tactic just to occupy someone attention for 4 hrs in a chat room, how bout getting a little imaginative and coming up with something other than crying wolf. Somebody else may actually be in need that attention a tad bit more than you.

3 thoughts on “Saturday February 1, 2003 at 07:07 pm

  1. Congrats on the new job Sounds like you’re gunna do guud.
    Brandon’s story was very distrubing, my heart goes out to his family Thanks for bringing it to the open. Each and everyone of those people could’ve done something but for some reason, didn’t. Maybe ppl can learn not to wait for others to do something and if attention was all a suicide attempter was wanting, what’s a few years in jail compared to a life cut short.

  2. I could pity him, I really could… But pity will not bring him back to his friends or Family… Its the insane cycle of life, and this place a theater, will we play our parts in the show…

  3. WOW!! that is some story. Wonder what tormented his mind so much that lead him to such a thing…?Wonder if those drugs were actually prescribed by doctors too…I wouldnt be surprised,now-a-days Dr’s just want todrug patients upand send them home instead of actually dealing with the headache of doing their actual job andgiving the patients the therapy they need.

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