Wednesday March 6, 2002 at 01:35 pm

Hmm interesting night, kind of. I talked to close friends last night who announced to me her engagement. I’m truly happy for her, though I may have not shown it too well last night. So if your reading this congratulations if I failed to say it last night. It seems a lot of people are getting engaged or married here lately. Anyway we discussed the dilemma of her brides maids, as she says there very few female friends she’s really close to that she talk to anymore. Of course my suggestion was to set a new precedence in marriage by have male brides maids, *L*, though I doubt that’ll happen.

Anyway all day yesterday, I was seriously out of it, for whatever reason it may have been. I think it has to do with the dream I had the other night. I was in SV (Sierra Vista; the town I moved from where my mom and dad live), and I guess I was at a funeral or maybe a wedding or something. It was something that took place at my old church anyway, I was either dressed in a really dark suit, I couldn’t tell if it was black or a dark blue, but that’s besides the point. As I exited the building there were a lot of people I knew from Phoenix and SV that were standing outside coming in and passing me as I left. The really weird thing was I started seeing the dream through my own eyes, as I usually do but then as got further away it was as if I then took a step back and could only see things from over my own shoulder. Of course this began to bug me because I can normally control what goes on in my dreams but from this aspect I couldn’t, as I wasn’t even in control of my own dream body so to speak. Anyway I was tried from everything that was going through my head over the last 2 weeks anyway so I decided to just sit back relax and enjoy the ride for once.

So as I walked down the steps of the church I noticed I had on a pair of black boots, that were pretty tight I must admit, and I wondered why the hell I was wearing them to begin with, since I only where boots if I’m out camping or at least with jeans, or if by chance I’m going to be riding, but I could see no bike. Just as I hit the pavement I could heard it, but didn’t look up to see it, maybe my body did but I was looking at all the people that were walking by, some of them just glanced at my body standing there at the edge of the walkway while, the rest stopped and gave a quick tap or touch said something and then kept going. I could hear what any of them were saying, and I attributed that to the fact that for this dream I was not in control. After a few moments my body started to walk away and I was drawn between trying to figure out what these people were saying but at the same time, I didn’t want to leave my body either. So of course I followed my body, turns out it was Art who I heard, riding up on his old YZF 1100, he had Shorty with him and she was some what half smiling, but then as I went ahead of myself I could see I was smiling at her and then she was smiling innocently back. I could finally started to hear some mumbling and was able to tune into it after what seemed like a lot of effort. The only thing I could make out though was Art saying “Don’t worry he knows how to ride”. For those few brief moments I wondered whom he was talking about, so I turned to look at what I was saying in response to him or at least what my facial expression was. When I turned around I wasn’t there though and someone else was, someone I could make out exactly but someone I knew from my past, almost frantic I turned to try and find myself, scanning the parking lot I saw myself now on the bike and putting on the pair of Tommy glasses I got from Heather.

I laid out on the tank staring out into the distance, a very far distance, what was it that was going on, I could see people passing me by and all were looking at me and talking to me but I said nothing back, I just laid there. After a few minutes, I could see myself look back to where Art and I (if I was anything at the time) were standing and nod, when I looked at Art to see what was up he had already tossed the keys to me and was now walking away.

This dream was posing lots of unanswered questions, but for some reason it was that annoying, I just didn’t care, just like I didn’t in my dream.

The strautus rolled up around the corner with Mike, Aaron, and Brianna as Sean and Fawna were getting into their car. Kim was there as well with some of her crew that I knew. Terri was there as was Willy, though I’ve never seen him before I knew it was. Ryan and Katrina had the kids with them and were headed towards Mike and Aaron. It was like everyone from high school and all my friends from phoenix were all in the same place, but I couldn’t figure out why. A thunderous roar broke the eerie silence and whispers; I looked and saw myself leaving the parking lot. To where, I had no idea.

As I made my way over, I realized from my view I had no body, and wondered how I’d stick close to my dream body with no way to physically contact anything. Oddly enough I didn’t need to, I just was kind of at where ever I wanted to be, as if I floated over to it at whatever speed I wanted to. The next thing I knew my body was taking off WFO (Wide Fucking Open) on the bike, I quickly caught up but realized I actually did have to make an effort to stay close other wise it would just leave. Talk about feeling detached.

I’ve never seen myself ride before so I pulled back a little to check it out, when I did my dream body popped up the front tire and took off. I was beginning to think I was trying to ditch myself, or maybe it was my body’s way of telling me to shut the hell up and just go with it. So that’s what I did I hoped on the back so to speak and just rode. Time for the most sped up, for soon night fell and I still kept riding, and it felt so natural, every curve I leaned though I didn’t have to, every bump I braced for, it was as if I was the one riding. Being inquisitive person I am I against started to think about what was going on, and I noticed I my body started to slow down. When I stopped for a moment I sped back up. Oh well ride we shall, and ride we did until I finally slipped so far in I fell asleep within my own dream.

What all this means, hell if I know, I just liked the ride, it what I always wanted to do but never could. Just to hit the road and ride. One thing I did notice was that my facial expression showed I had something heavy on my mind or heart and that I had to get away. I also noticed the road I was driving was the loop of road going around the outskirts of SV. I used to drive it when I had a lot on my mind and wanted to get away from everyone.

I miss those drives!