Monday September 17, 2001 at 01:04 am
9/7/01
Iâm looking back on these past few years here and have noticed that it can be perceived as very little has come out of living here in this city, and it all started at the âWoodâ, Inglewood Apartments that is. Within 2 years of living here I broke up with my girlfriend for no real apparent reason other than selfishness. From that very day it seems like things went downhill. Granted at the time it was nothing big, but now that I think back on it, all these little things turned out to be major life changing events. Shortly after moving my girlfriend of 2 yrs, at that time, back to the town we were both from I met Kim. Actually I had already met Kim at work, but never really hung out with her or got to know her until one night we decided to go out dancing or something and I guess that when our real friendship began. Previous to that I knew my girlfriend at the time would have tripped if I told her that I had a female friend at work that wanted to hang out some night and kick it. And to this day though we donât hang out as much as we used to I still consider here a friend.
Iâd say probably a few months later I met my neighbors Cassie, Carrie, and Melanie. 3 girls whoâd somewhat known each other prior to getting there apt together. They lived downstairs and across the courtyard. I was drawn to Cass simply cuz she had this carefree air about her. Carrie was a 19 year old with a 14 yr olds body. Melanie was a bigger girl but had a cuteness about her that made her attractive to me. We all kicked it almost every night until things started to disintegrate at their apt and Melanie for the most part flipped out after a few mutual incidents and I guess after I started catching some BS she started shoveling and decided to pitch it back at her. At the time everyone started moving out Cass and I had got become really close friends as well as Carrie. I even got my friend Tom hooked up with Carrie and they eventually went on to have a somewhat meaningful relationship of 3 yrs with a uncertain resolve currently in progress. Melanie went on staying at the apt and became known as the cat lady due to her lack of ability to clean up after her now rampant feline friends. Iâd have to say other than my near death experience with Melanie in the pool, the Police helicopter landing in the courtyard, the Melissa experience, my 1st surprise birthday party, which failed and the fact that for the 1st time in my life I lived by myself. The most profound memory from Inglewood was kissing Cassie. I was intrigued by her for the longest time even though I never pursued it. Well not until the day before she was to moved back to Idaho the 1st time. The entire time we lived there she always had this look in her eyes and it was because of that look that I always wanted to kiss her, just to I guess see what was behind that look she gave. Even though she had moved out of Inglewood about 3 months earlier, we had decided to have a last night type of thing and grab some beers and do it up like back in the day. Well we started having a deep conversation that went well into the next morning. Well just as normal sheâd crash at my crib and go home in the morning. Well I guess it was either the beer or the moment, but normally Iâd kiss Cass and Carrie on the forehead before they went to sleep, well instead I pulled her towards me and kissed her ever so slowly and gently. I can say this, even though that kiss lasted only mere few moments, within those few moments I only experienced an inkling of what those eyes held behind them, or what I thought they held behind them. The next morning was not all that awkward but we did decide the kiss was more like kissing ones respective brother or sister. Ever since then anytime we kissed it was nothing more than just that, a kiss.
9/9/01
What seems to me like a few months, but in all actuality was only a few weeks passed by. My friend Tom moved in with me with his daughter part time due to a troubling relationship with her mother. It was during this time that they resolved to end the relationship but stay in contact with each other for the daughtersâ sake. So after about a month or so of Tom crashing at my place, he hooked up with Carrie, and they went on to go grow closer. I on the other hand was missing something or so I thought at the time. I thought it was companionship, my rationale at the time said I was missing being with someone other than just as a friend. So I looked towards what had become a small hobby of mine, the internet. Back then my friend Mike had already discovered what I had found years before and simply forgot about due to the lack of ISP services in my former small town. So away I went, surfing across millions of data packets to meet up at what chatting had become since my last AOL experience. I pleased to find out that you could go through any search engine and find a free web based chat site. So since Mike had apparently already scooped out the new chat scene it just took a few days for me to get back into the swing of things. Low and behold I fell right back in where I left off, talking shit to the guys and talking sweet to the ladies like a gentleman should. Thatâs about the time I realized that I could now do all the things I wondered if I could do just 4 yrs before living at home with my parents and surfing from the back of the Pizza Hut restaurant using cracked AOL accounts. Okay so they werenât cracked but at the time AOL took up to 2 wks to realize what credit card numbers were false and which were real. So on I went putting on somewhat off a show, actually it was more or less what I saw my self as and what I wanted to see myself as. Trust me there wasnât much more I wanted to be, so for the most part it was me just as this is. I made a few friends in the chat room that me and Mike hung out in, and of course made a few enemies. The good thing about that time frame was that at the same time I had just started working for HP at MCI with Tom, and with the Tom living at my house I was at a constant source of technical knowledge and proceeded to suck as much of it up as I could. This then became my ammo performing little tweaks here and there, mainly bumping some loud mouth off the net with a old school DOS attack. Back then no one really knew about it, but if you could do it, people in the rooms either feared you or praised you as a tech God. I didnât want either so I pretty much went back to fighting with words and making the loud mouth realize how much of an idiot he was making himself out to be. That how I met Melissa, yes the same Melissa mentioned above.
Apparently due to either my upbringing or genetic makeup I was born with a Lancelot complex, so says my best friend Aaron. I always want to be able to help others especially females. So Melissa and I starting talking and then started calling and what at the time I thought was more than just friends was actually curiosity. So after about 2 months we starting calling each other and eventually made plans for her to come out and visit. Let me tell you, if youâve ever seen those Jenny Jones or Riki Lake shows about internet hook ups it isnât all that. This girl was so not what she said she was when I picked her up from the airport one evening. But for some reason or another I kissed her anyway, I mean she had traveled all this way I thought that was the least I could do. Well needless to say during her stay it went a lot further. And at the same time so did the drastic differences in what she told me and what she actually did was becoming obliviously apparent. She picked up on it and in a fit of I donât know what decides to come out and say she was 4 weeks pregnant. Only problem with this whole story was she had only been in Arizona 1 day over 3 weeks. So just like I was told by a wise man once, âItâs better to let others say what they may and prove them wrong than to try and defend once self with words and denial and make ones self look like even more the fool.â. With that in mind I insisted on a professional test which she stated came back positive and with the assistance of Carrie proceeding to swear on all that was holy to them it was true. The flaw in that plan was the place they went to get tested at gives back and receipt with the diagnosis and a planning guide to âsoon to be mothersâ. She had none of these, know free prenatal prescriptions nothing at all, and not even the standard free counselorsâ business card for that matter. It was at this time I decided to prove the allegation wrong and with one swift motion dismiss this deceiver from my life for what I thought would be the reminders of my years. Unfortunately before she left on that one way ticket back to California she managed to steal my rent money. I took the hit with the rent and luckily with the aid of Tom was able to get by until my next pay check, unfortunately for her she decided to pursue the matter further via computer again but from her parents house, and after numerous requests, warning and threats I finally had to take action and permanently disable the system she was using. The system ended up being her fathers at home business system, I found this out one day out of the blue when he called into HP support and saying his daughter was talking with some guy in Arizona and then the next thing he knew the system was making some weird noises and then stopped with a finally puff of smoke. Of course as he told me this I was flagging everyone of my friends down at work to tell them to listen in and had Tom verify his identity via his phones automatic number identifier versus the number Melissa gave me and sure enough they matched, along with his last name. I never did tell him it was me that did it, I wasnât that stupid, but he did get curious as to my location when Tom burst into laughter as he matched the name and the # together and realized who it was. That was the last I heard from her and I recommended her father to go buy a new pc and not let his daughter use it to surf the internet, for sheâd never know what kind of psychotic people will use it for the own malicious and self gratifying needs like she did.
9/15/01
Iâve been writing this for a few days now and I wanted to get it done within at least a week but what happened on Tues kind of put a stand still to it, until today. Tuesday September 11th 2001, a day that for many was history in the making. For me it the 1st day to really reflect on my life and the things I have personally witnessed. Tuesday morning 4 flights left the Eastern sea board head for 4 transcontinental flights less than 20 minutes into them 4 hijackers in teams of 5 took over the planes and diverted them to one the nations most prominent symbols of freedom and democracy. Their targets the Pentagon; head of the United States Military forces, the White House, the Home of the Unites States president, leader of the free country: and the twin World Trade Centers towers in New York; base of operation for much of the US economy and trade with the Planet. The 1st targets to be hit was the south World Trade Center tower, using the planes as flying bombs loaded with fully for itâs flight to California the hijackers, equipped with their own pilot flew the plane into the building. At the same time the 3rd plane flew into a recently re-modeled portion of the pentagon. 18 minutes later the 2nd flight to take off flew into the now partially evacuated North World trade Center Tower. The United States as I knew has come under fire for the 1st time since Pearl Harbor in an act of terrorism, which unfolded before my eyes on live television. 35 minutes later the 4th and final plane crashed into a field 80 miles from Camp Davis; the presidential retreat. It was later resolved that the plane was actually headed for the White House or Air Force One. It is believed that the anti-American terrorist Osama Bin Ladem is the mastermind of this senseless violent act of terrorism and has been names as the key suspect by the US Government. At this current time there are over 5000 people believed to be missing or dead, over the course of the last 3 days only 83 bodies including 8 survivors have been recovered.
The act in itself is being said to be worse than the Japanese sneak attack at Pearl Harbor. The differences being, when Pearl Harbor attacked we knew who did it immediately, their was no faceless coward hiding from us, the strike was of military orientation, and the person that did it was not an individual or small guerrilla force but an entire country declaring war upon the United States. The WTC attack was committed by faceless individuals, however at this time the United States government is viewing the attack as an act of war, my question is upon whom. A few hours after the attack President George Bush II, address the country stating that any country assisting the terrorist who committed the act will be considered and enemy of the United States. The statement was directly aimed at Afghanistan the country, in which Osama Bin Ladem currently calls his home. At about 5 pm a news reporter from Pakistan relayed images of Pakistan residents dancing and cheering in the streets. At that moment even though I donât believe in mass destruction I wished that the camera man would have turned to the sky to see a F-16 strike squadron zeroing in on the streets, leading the way to an all out attack on the country. This of course didnât happen and Iâm very thankful that the presidentâs aides and advisors didnât allow him to do such a thing.
I do feel however that since it is apparent that Afghanistan has no control over itâs countrymen and their acts and is apparently doing nothing about it, that the US moves to declare war on the country. Not obliterate it, but to perform a surgical strike the country in a manner that would imbed in the minds that their views upon democracy and freedom are not looked upon kindly to the rest of the world and will not be supported by the rest of the world. I believe that if the country wants to continue itâs way of thinking and accepting the actions that itâs countrymen are willing to perform then it as a country should be cut off from the rest of the world in all aspects including any type of trade or business ventures and as such forcing it into itâs own prison so to speak from the rest of the world. No one would be allowed to leave the country and any person who attempts or is caught escaping the country would then be seen as a possible terrorist and if need be either returned or shot on site. By doing this, Iâd hope that those within the country would come to a realization that these types of actions are not condoned and it is full understood that in order to truly survive they must, conform to the rest of the planet. If not I see the country, as it is already a 3rd world country, and having no real economy coming in and being very limited on natural resources available to it, going back to the days of the Dark Age. The only open interaction it should have with the rest of the world would then be included to would be for those who wish to leave the country and become a productive citizen of the rest of the world, with their own free thoughts and action, as long as they coincide with what is deemed acceptable by the rest of the world. I realize that by me stating that that it is discriminatory in essence and can be compared to discrimination amongst races but in this essence it is discriminatory towards actions and action which are condoned by the few and despised by the many but at the same time mass destruction of innocent lives calls for measures of this nature. Though I know my theory as listed above is very unlikely to happen, what is a guarantee is that the United States as a government, a people, as a whole will not stand to let this action go unanswered. I can only hope that in doing so this small portion of world sees the error in its ways and does conform for fear that to continued resistance the threat of a Thermal Nuclear and/or Biological weaponry will be used in retaliation against the initial US retaliation thus triggering what has been feared for generations, a nuclear holocaust.
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